A hot subject of argument amongst the sexually prolific bilinguals in Japan is whether you should approach Japanese girls in English or Japanese.
I have done my share of approaching in both Japanese and English, and I must say, using English has always yielded better results for me. However, I am not a normal gaijin, so your mileage may vary. Here's my reasoning:
Standing Out and Avoiding Cultural Obstacles
Most Japanese men who approach strange women and attempt to chat them up do a absolutely terrible job of it. It's just not a normal activity in Japanese culture. Therefore, it is important to differentiate yourself from these chumps by using English when you approach a Japanese girl, especially if you look Japanese like I do. Triggering a subconscious response that labels you as a chump is never a good idea.
I like to immediately separate myself from the hordes of thirsty Japanese dudes and what is culturally expected from them with a simple English greeting. This may seem like over-thinking it, but dating is a numbers game and every little edge helps.
Also, when she anticipates seeing a white dude but sees my asian mug instead, it can also be an interesting surprising. If I ran into a white female who spoke flawless Japanese, I would be equally surprised. I'd certainly remember her the next day, even after a couple of rum and cokes.
Quick Filtering and Reliable Responses
Most interactions in Japanese follow a very set sequence of polite phrases and tempered behaviors. Japanese people typically operate on autopilot in common social situations. This makes it very difficult for the uninitiated to the gauge how interested a Japanese girl may be. Using English to initiate a conversation short circuits these automatic responses and gives you a better look at what a Japanese girl is really feeling at the moment.
It's Just Easier
My Japanese is wonderful. Real wonderful. Hey there, everybody, come see how good my Japanese is. Even so, my English is still light years better. And I'm no master ladies' man. I still get approach anxiety sometimes. When I'm not feeling completely social, there are times when conversing in another language is just enough of an obstacle to make me say, "I'm going home". But since I mainly approach ladies with English, this reason seldom comes up in my mind.
Also, English education may be very, very bad in Tokyo, but girls will still understand you if you say simple things like "Hi!" You might as well make use of the language that you're most comfy with.
A Final Word
I see zero downside to this strategy, particularly for anyone who can comfortably speak both languages. In terms of efficiency of time and effort, using English to approach Japanese women is 2nd to none in Japan. It will be intriguing to see if this approach likewise works for bilinguals of other countries with various cultures.
I have done my share of approaching in both Japanese and English, and I must say, using English has always yielded better results for me. However, I am not a normal gaijin, so your mileage may vary. Here's my reasoning:
Standing Out and Avoiding Cultural Obstacles
Most Japanese men who approach strange women and attempt to chat them up do a absolutely terrible job of it. It's just not a normal activity in Japanese culture. Therefore, it is important to differentiate yourself from these chumps by using English when you approach a Japanese girl, especially if you look Japanese like I do. Triggering a subconscious response that labels you as a chump is never a good idea.
I like to immediately separate myself from the hordes of thirsty Japanese dudes and what is culturally expected from them with a simple English greeting. This may seem like over-thinking it, but dating is a numbers game and every little edge helps.
Also, when she anticipates seeing a white dude but sees my asian mug instead, it can also be an interesting surprising. If I ran into a white female who spoke flawless Japanese, I would be equally surprised. I'd certainly remember her the next day, even after a couple of rum and cokes.
Quick Filtering and Reliable Responses
Most interactions in Japanese follow a very set sequence of polite phrases and tempered behaviors. Japanese people typically operate on autopilot in common social situations. This makes it very difficult for the uninitiated to the gauge how interested a Japanese girl may be. Using English to initiate a conversation short circuits these automatic responses and gives you a better look at what a Japanese girl is really feeling at the moment.
It's Just Easier
My Japanese is wonderful. Real wonderful. Hey there, everybody, come see how good my Japanese is. Even so, my English is still light years better. And I'm no master ladies' man. I still get approach anxiety sometimes. When I'm not feeling completely social, there are times when conversing in another language is just enough of an obstacle to make me say, "I'm going home". But since I mainly approach ladies with English, this reason seldom comes up in my mind.
Also, English education may be very, very bad in Tokyo, but girls will still understand you if you say simple things like "Hi!" You might as well make use of the language that you're most comfy with.
A Final Word
I see zero downside to this strategy, particularly for anyone who can comfortably speak both languages. In terms of efficiency of time and effort, using English to approach Japanese women is 2nd to none in Japan. It will be intriguing to see if this approach likewise works for bilinguals of other countries with various cultures.
About the Author:
It can be tricky to pick up Tokyo girls. They certainly were to me, and I'm Japanese-American. Fortunately, I figured out how to lead a life of romantic abundance in the land of the rising sun. Learn everything I wish I'd known back when I was a college graduate on my blog on pick up Tokyo girls.
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